I want to tell you a story. Here it is.
A young girl leaves her home, she leaves her family and her clan. She goes out onto the prairie alone. Is she seeking her name? Is she seeking her vision? What voices is she hearing out there on the wind alone? Where is she going? Why does she go?
The journey is a long one and as she goes her moccasins become dust on her feet, and her hair grows long and unkept. The years pass by one by one animals come to touch her, to paint their healing visions on her eyes, but she becomes frightened and runs away- alone she goes on like a child.
More years pass by and plants send their medicine dreams to her, but her eyes do not see, and she cannot hear the music growing in her. Instead she weeps, and where she would see light dance in those dreams, she sees shadows. And still she goes on alone feeling unworthy to be whole.
Do you have questions when you read this story?
I can appreciate the journey this young girl takes as it is a journey not unlike my own. One question that comes to me is why does she take this journey?
While the story paints a picture of the path the girl takes, it says little about why the journey was taken, and so provides limited insight about the healing path that may follow.
The whys of why I took my own long journey out onto the prairie alone are complex and difficult to say, though one of the whys is shame- I will hide the parts of me I don’t believe are worthy.. My lonely journey out onto the prairie was the complex way I worked to do that- to hide myself.
Because shame was woven into me- into the long bones of my being- I must continually give-away that shame. This is my journey- my beautiful, precious broken-legged dance.
The shame that was woven to me is like a drop of water on the pond of my family, and I see the ripples pass through me.
Each of you are my family, my community, and I have come know that I can give-away that shame and you hold me nonetheless, that you will find me beautiful and whole- I can expose these sensitive parts of me, and am beloved by you, and healed by you.
I can’t help but see the connections to this work we do and the work of the Council. The children in our Queer, and Trans communities are walkin their own lonely journeys out onto the prairie.
In the end, what each of us give-away on our own long, lonely journey through the gates of the underworld in the Inanna ritual are gifts we give to our communities. They are seeds for our own transformation and healing.